Thursday, December 20, 2007

SANTA FATTY?


OUR SURGEON GENERAL SAYS SANTA IS TOO FAT! HE WOULD LIKE TO START A CAMPAIGN TO CHANGE THE IMAGE OF OUR BELOVED SANTA.

WELL I THINK I HAVE HEARD IT ALL NOW, AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS….WOW! I THINK I WILL START A CAMPAIGN MYSELF, IT WILL BE TO ABOLISH POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS.

OK LISTEN TO THIS, HERE IS WHAT THE SURGEON GENERAL IS SPENDING HIS TIME ON LATELY, HE BELIEVES SANTA IS A BAD ROLE MODEL FOR OUR CHILDREN, TEACHING OUR CHILDREN IT’S OK TO BE OBESE. SINCE WHEN IS SANTA SUPPOSED TO BE A ROLE MODEL? WILL THE LIBERALS, AGNOSTICS AND HATE MONGERS EVER STOP?
WILL THEY NOT REST UNTIL EVERYTHING WE HOLD DEAR IS DEEMED POLITICALLY INCORRECT AND UNACCEPTABLE?! IT’S BAD ENOUGH THEY HAVE TAKEN GOD OUT OF OUR SCHOOLS AND OUR CHRISTMAS TREES OUT OF OUR PUBLIC BUILDINGS AND SO FORTH.
GOD YES GOD FORBID ANYONE PUT A FREAKING NATIVITY SET ON DISPLAY. SOME SILLY JACKASS WILL CALL TO COMPLAIN.
WHY CAN’T WE PUT LITTLE BABY JESUS IN A MANGER ANYMORE? WHY?? BECAUSE THERE ARE TOO MANY LIBERAL BITCHES SITTING HOME THINKING OF WAYS TO PUT THEIR NOSES IN OTHER PEOPLES BUSINESS!

FOR THE LOVE OF PETE (CUZ THEY DON’T WANT ME TO SAY JESUS OR GOD) FIND ANOTHER HOBBY! OR MOVE TO A SOCIETY WHERE THERE IS NO FREEDOM AND BE DONE WITH IT. TO EVEN THINK OF CHANGING THE IMAGE OF OUR JOLLY RED CHEEKED SANTA TO A THIN MISERABLE SANTA CHOMPING ON CELERY INSTEAD OF HOMEMADE COOKIES, IS SICK AND TWISTED AND YOU SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT.

I CAN SEE IT NOW, COME ON KIDS LETS PUT OUT A SLIMFAST SHAKE AND OATBRAN BAR FOR SANTA. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK! I THINK IT’S TIME WE TELL THE LIBERALS TO SHOVE POLITICAL CORRECTNESS UP THEIR STIFF ASSES AND LET THE CHILDREN HAVE THEIR FAT JOLLY SANTA FOR CHRIST SAKES!
MERRY CHRISTMAS! BE MERRY AND CLICK ON THE LINK TO GIVE ME A POINT! http://humor-blogs.com/

Monday, December 10, 2007

DESPERATELY SEEKING WARMTH


OK folks here is another example of IDIOCY, besides being liberal freak jobs, did you know there are also daring adventures that will go to the end of the earth, literally to get the proof of global warming they are so desperate for? A couple of weeks ago, the media brought us a small but dramatic story of a “cruise boat” that sank in the Antarctica.
Wait a minute, I’m confused here, is there anyone in the world that would think a pleasure destination for a cruise would be Antarctica? Hmmm, somehow freezing my yabos off does not appeal to me, nor does a slow icy death.
Oh and don’t forget the polar bears gnawing on your frozen ass of an entree.

Come to think of it, I don’t remember seeing that destination at the AAA office among the travel brochures. Who on earth could possibly woo anyone with a sane mind to invest and “cruise” on up to a slush filled death trap?
You have got to be kidding me! What the media conveniently failed to mention was that these fruit cakes were on a “global Eco tour” to the Antarctica, in search of proof of global warming.
Well it seems during their trek into the frigid north they bumped into an iceberg, could u believe that!? An iceberg in Antarctica! Imagine that! I wonder how much fuel was needed for that “cruise” and on its way down to the icy bottom of the ocean, how much oil spewed out into the other wise untouched and unharmed Eco system?

Oh…I don’t know, only over forty thousand gallons! How many poor sweet baby seals were choked to death with oil? I think the only proof they took home was frostbitten asses and the fact that they are a bunch of simple bastards.

One more little detail left out was that this bright idea was that of a man who happens to be good friends with no other than our global warming idol… Al Gore. Yes, Al Gore the one that stays up all night in his mega electricity sucking mansion losing sleep over our doomed planet, “our planet in peril”.
Hey I’ve got a proposition for the wealthy liberals out there, next time you want to waste money and resources, throw it my way, mama needs a new fur coat to go with my sweet Yukon Denali. click on the link to give me a point! please! http://humor-blogs.com/