Things that make you go hmmm?

Alright everyone, another segment on: “things that make you go hmmm???” Last night I was in bed, the heat just kicked on, outside its cold and snowy. I said to myself as I pulled my blanket and snuggle bunnied up, “ahhhhh all snug as a bug in a rug” I stopped to realize that, 1. I really need to stop talking to myself. 2. Where the frick do these sayings come from? 3. They make no damn sense at all. 4. Where are my socks, my damn feet are cold!
So as I lie there with cold feet of course, I think of all the stupid sayings out there that we all are guilty of using.
· “Snug as a bug in a rug”- first of all bugs should be DEAD, not all snug in a rug. Who’s the ass that knelt down one day and saw a bug on a rug and said “awww a cute little bug all snug in a rug” That person should have done nothing but step on that bug or flick it hard against the wall insuring it’s deserved death….sick bastard.

· “Cold as hell”- hmmmmmm, let me think about this a bit. I am far from a geologist (NERD) and all but wouldn’t HELL be hot? The whole purpose of HELL and damnation is the hot flaming part. When I get there I will make sure to assess the surroundings and let everyone know for sure.
· “Dead as a door nail”- I am just confused about this one all together and have nothing to say about it.

· “Easy as pie”- I can say from experience that pies are not easy. As a matter of fact I believe there are still petrified flour chunks on my kitchen ceiling from the last time I attempted to bake a pie.

· “Cute as a button”- I have never come across a button that was deemed “cute”. Cute to me is, a yittle fluffy kitty, a yittle baby newborn (although I have seen some ugly babies before), or perhaps even the ass of your local UPS guy. All can easily fall in the category of “cute” But a button??? Obviously a long time ago someone said something like, “oh God she is butt ugly”. Upon re-telling the story to someone else, the person felt the need to be nice and say “oh she was as cute as a butt…button, yes that’s it” Please feel free to add some of the dumb sayings you know!