Saturday, May 31, 2008

Time to make the donuts!
Ok everyone, why are the liberal fanatics allowed to run around and ruin living? Get a load of this crapola!

Dunkin' Donuts, based in Canton, Mass., has pulled an advertisement after a scarf worn by pitch woman Rachael Ray was compared to a Muslim headscarf. Michelle Malkin, a conservative commentator for Fox News, said in her syndicated column that the paisley scarf worn by Ray in the ad resembles a traditional keffiyeh headscarf worn by Muslim men.
Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial.

“Given the possibility of misperception” For the love of Versace! Can a woman not even wear a damn fashion accessory now without worrying of the possibility she MIGHT offend someone?! Yet we let people like this walk around offending….pretty much anything that is breathing….

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Where the hell was P.E.T.A for this freako nut job?
Anyway, are we now to a point where we really can’t show an advertisement… because of a SCARF that might be perceived wrong?! Well, for something this important we better start a government funded fashion police to patrol our once free “non” communism country!
Come on people, this madness must stop, I must not be the only person that thinks this is insane? If I was Rachael Ray I would wear that scarf and nothing more in the next taping of her show. Now that would be offensive! As white as I am, it also might blind 98% of the viewers or turn them to a pile of dust, but my point would be shown dammit!
Also, can someone please bitch slap the commentator from fox news and tell her to comment on actual news. I’m so fired up over this I really think I might drive to work tomorrow in nothing but a scarf! Well...and maybe a bra too, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't feel good to have "the girls" wrapped up in the stearing wheel as I make a quick turn. No wait, I think I will substitute the bra for 2 straticically placed donuts, chocolate of course. The media will surely get involved due to the mass amounts of car wrecks. Then it will be my turn to protest about the suffocating ways of liberal freaks trying to get everything banned. My husband might have to feed the kids for a night or two while I’m in jail awaiting a mental evaluation, but hey I don’t care! If you would like to join my rally please click on the link here for a much needed point!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Mad Burger Disease

NEW YORK - The Wall Street Burger Shoppe and Its creators, admit it is the ultimate in decadence: a $175 hamburger. Just raised its price from $150 to assure its designation as the costliest burger in the city as determined by Pocket Change

What the hell is wrong with this country?! Who in bloody hell actually processed the thought of making and selling a hunk of hamburger for $175.00?! (A smart bastard that’s who!) and who the flip flanging hell would pay that much for ground hamburger?? I do not in anyway care what ingredients this burger consists of, whether it’s fucking flakes of gold or diamond dust.
Just because you are rich does not justify paying $175.00 for a HAMBURGER, just because you can! Unless of course this burger has magical abilities to do your laundry or dirty dishes, cuz that's the only way I'm paying that kind of money!
For the love of Ronald MC Donald! If you do feel the need to commit such an act, when the waiter brings your check he should also whip out a big black rubber stamp that reads “JACKASS” to forcefully stamp on your forehead……real hard.
If you want to eat and shit out your money like that, then give me a call and I can give you a more constructive way to spend your money.
By the way, the cook and waiter adds a “special touch” to each burger you pompas botards order up, because every semi- sane person knows…nobody likes a pompas ass.
For the love of meat..I mean Pete!Please click on the link to give me a much needed point!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Hoplessly Disturbed

** only one survivor...

Man Arrested After 300 Dead Cats Found in His Freezers
Three over-sized freezers in the foul-smelling home contained the bodies of cats and kittens, police said.

For the love of Mary, what would possess someone to be such a freak? I believe we should implement a new law to be enforced right away. It would state, * if people show warped tendencies early in life then we should immediately assign them to weekly therapy. Examples of such signs would be:
1. Plucking the legs off of insects (which is fine with me really…then they won’t crawl any where near my vicinity.)
2. Wearing underpants over your pants
3. Constructing small dolls that look like your family members or friends complete with snip bits of their hair.
4. Collecting dust bunnies to pile them up in your bed to sleep with.
5. Talking to a hand puppet longer than anyone should.

Such warning signs should be taken seriously. Perhaps if we intervene early enough with treatments such as shock therapy (preferred method), lobotomy or intense counseling sessions, we can stop freakish events from occurring in our societies. Also, if you are the neighbor of a freak and you hear strange things such as, large amounts of meowing combined with a mass odor emulating from someone’s house…then call someone….. immediately.
I understand no one likes a snitch but no one likes to have to be the one to remove 300 catsicles from some freaks freezer either. Back to this freak and his frozen cat fetish, what is this tool’s reason for storing the corpse of 300 cats? And more importantly were the cats wearing little outfits? There is not and will not ever be a valid reason at all to absolve this man’s actions for such cat atrocity. I don’t care if he hated cats so much that his mission in life was to collect all cats and dispatch them.
Maybe he thought if he just killed them all and buried the bodies like a normal person, the cats would rise in the middle of night to claw his face off. Or maybe with the current food price increases, he figured he would stock up on a cheap available alternative…
to save future cats from a frozen death click here...for the love of god click!!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Big Balls

BENTONVILLE, Ark. - An inmate awaiting trial on a murder charge is suing the county, complaining he has lost more than 100 pounds because of the jailhouse menu. Broderick Lloyd Laswell says he isn't happy that he's down to 308 pounds after eight months in the Benton County jail. He has filed a federal lawsuit complaining the jail doesn't provide inmates with enough food.
Are you freaking kidding me with this?! This fat bastard most likely has the largest balls know to the human race! He isn’t happy that he has lost weight because the menu is not to his liking?! Well, I’m sure the person he is accused of killing isn’t happy that they are presently DEAD. This fat bastard is lucky I am not the warden of this “resort” I mean prison.
First of all can someone tell me why jail is not jail anymore? What happened to bread and water for their meals? What happened to a prison sentence that was actually geared towards punishment? Now it involves free college courses, access to computers, work out rooms and themed movie nights for their entertainment. Can someone also tell me why he is allowed to waste our tax payer’s money and take up the valuable time of our courts? It is a dammed shame this gluttony jackass is allowed to do something like this.
OOOh Ooooh I know everybody, let’s all donate an extra “tax dollar” out of our paychecks to go towards the “inmate culinary fund”. This will provide 3 catered meals a day of their favorite restaurants for our poor suffering inmates. Yeah ok and by the time our paycheck pays for all the non working welfare recipients we won’t have a dollar to donate to this much needed fund. On the other hand why don’t we strap saddles on the backs of these spoiled inmates and ride them to work, because gas prices will be so high soon it’ll have to be that or horse and carriage.

Stewie: What the hell is this? I said egg whites only! Are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack? (Smashes breakfast into wall.) Make it again!!
Now that I am done spewing my disdain I would appreciate it if you kindly click the link displayed here, this will release the much needed Zanax to flow freely into my bloodstream.