Saturday, January 17, 2009

I'm sorry, you have to remove my what??!!


Ok please tell me why men can go their whole lives without the fear of having to have something removed or lopped off of their very being? I would like to keep everything I was born with…with the exception of the umbilical cord, that could get in the way and cause unwanted walking distractions.
Although I should not have this desire to tell strangers my personal endeavors, but I feel that some things should be dealt with laughter in order to help deal with the trauma. I recently found out that I need to have a partial hysterectomy. Yes my uterus will be ripped out and prolly sold in the underground market as a large ashtray or conversational table centerpiece.
What do they do with such rejected body parts? Actually I don’t want to know. As long as they take out the correct part I’ll be ok. You hear of horror stories, surgeons removing the wrong leg, or perhaps the wrong boob. I mean how does one apologize for something like that? “Ummmm, I sort of lopped off the wrong leg, but pathology is digging for it and hopefully we can get that right back on you. Not sure if it will be functionable but hey look on the bright side, I won’t charge you for it.” So off to the hospital I go next Tuesday, I’m thinking of writing in a big red sharpie a note for the surgeon on my tummy. “Just the uterus…..please”
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