DWS (driving while stupid)

Is there a reason why people feel the need to drive their vehicles while I’m driving mine? Can’t every one just re-arrange their schedules so that they will not be driving while I’m on the road…at all? Well, maybe that’s a bit extreme.

How about this, my car and only my car of course, should come complete with functioning coffee holders, air conditioning and a ZAP button. Yes, a ZAP button. You see I need this convenient accessory so that when certain situations arise I can take care of them at the push of a button. This button will target the correct vehicle and deliver an efficient amount of electricity that will jar its driver ever so slightly…who am I kidding!? I want it to jolt the “STUPID” right out of the deserving driver. Just enough volts to cause a painful 3 second spasm.

The unsuspecting dumbass will then immediately be aware that they have affected others by their stupid driving and think twice not to do so again. A perfect example of people that should not be allowed to drive while I am is:

1. The jack of an ass that feels the need to put on his brakes every 30 to 40 seconds.
2. The botard that thinks it’s a personal racing challenge if you pull ahead of him. (NASCAR wannabe)
3. The bimbo in the swerving back and forth SUV, talking on the phone, putting on her mascara (In case you’re a man reading this, that’s eye make-up) the whole time completely oblivious to all around her.
4. Finally, the hole of an ass person that refuses to comply with merging rules of the road.

Now, I’m sure we can all add even more to this list, but I think it’s a good start, for now. The point is people, if you absolutely have to drive while I am, please do so in the correct manor. Pay attention to what the fuck you are doing and try real hard not to be a rude ass. There is no need to slow the whole process of getting back and forth to work daily just because you have severe issues. If this is the case I suggest you take the bus or car pool with a responsible driver other than your simpleton ass. Oh and can I make a plea to all the cute engineer nerds out there to please design this ZAP device for my car? Thanks ;)

P.S. hamster update...he has been found. Although with patches of missing fur and the still green tongue he is resting and should be fine....however, refuses to talk to me or even look me in the eyes.

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