Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Caution...show dogs


While driving home along the what seems to be a never-ending line of cars, I look up to the van in front of me and notice a large custom white sign that reads
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This of course perplexes me until I see another sign that is of the American flag with a dog’s face in it. Again I sit there confused yet verging on understanding why this brings irritation to me, then it hits me, this jackass wants us all to know he/she has show dogs in their van and is telling us loud and clear with his big sign to show CAUTION.
Hmmmmm let me see here, you want me to read the sign and take note that you have a show dog in your van? This will make me drive EXTRA careful of course as to not do anything to jeopardize your precious cargo? What exactly do you want me to do? What does "CAUTION" mean to you?
Do you want me to hang back and let you drive an uninterrupted path with your stupid fu fu dogs in the back munching on environmentally friendly “green” doggie biscuits so they are safe and unjostled? Or are you telling us all to have caution because show dogs suddenly have the tendency pop out of your trunk?
So, if we see a white poodle with pink dyed ears and a diamond collar flying through the air at our windshield we should show caution? I think they should specify the “caution” warning. Now I have seen signs/stickers that read “caution baby in the car” this of course I understand and take note to self as to not be a crazy rage road filled driver near that vehicle.
Now this person with the show dogs…obviously had to have the sign made for them…do to the fact there cannot possibly be another idiot that would think of such a thing. I really think the sign company should have made them another sign for free to go along with it. It would read
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Maybe I am the only girl that cannot comprehend why dog shows exist…..or idiots for that matter, I thought natural selection was supposed to take care of that?
Don’t get me wrong, I think dogs are cute and some puppers I just want to shove into my pocket so I can take it out when I want and smooch it on it’s cute wittle fuzzy face, but to parade hundreds of them around like little coiffed freaks to be inspected, poked and prodded by some lady dressed in a rhinestone shirt and skirt complete with a bee hive hairdo and attitude to match, I just don’t get it.
While channel surfing, I have actually seen a judge grab the nads of a rottweiler as if he was weighing them, measuring the girth of dog balls just doesn’t seem right…or safe. I’m not the smartest person in the world but I do know cupping the balls of a dog large enough to maul you to actual death…would not be a wise thing to do, although it would make for great entertainment for everyone else, (not the death part!)
Well I made it home without a hurdling poodle slamming into my windshield and a new found awareness of the serious business of show dogging.
click here to view some fancy show dogs!!
http://humor-blogs.com/

7 comments:

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

I don't know if you already know this, or even if it's true, but I heard that the reason the judge grabs the dog's nads is to test whether or not the dog reacts. If the dog just stands there like a eunich, that's supposed to be a good thing, I guess.

Ranjeet Kr. Vimal said...

One thing i noticed.. after every post u have mentioned a reference link..mostly that is humor-blog.com ..is this site urs or u r a big fan of this site..
well i love pets

Anonymous said...

There's smacktards out there who have "Caution Show Horses" too. Well, I WAS gonna drink this sixer and do a couple bong hits to make the trip shorter, but since this guy is towing "Show Horses!" I better not.

Bee said...

Ha ha!! Hilarious!

I never thought about the weird sex fetish show dog judges might have. Now I'm wondering if the enjoy the dog ball grabbing. ;op

Anonymous said...

Fuck Show Dogs!!!
Fuck their owners!!!
Fuck the Judges!!!
Go Mutts of the World!!!
to all that want to laugh real fucking hard about this thing, you have to watch "Best in Show" another hilarious Christoher Guest film....Very Funny.
XOXOXO
your darling animal loving brother

Ron said...

Hi April,

Just wanted to stop by and say HI and also thanks for visiting my blog the other day.

HEY...GREAT POST!!!

Really enjoyed the pink poodle too!

It instantly reminded me of the movie "Best In Show"...BRILLIANT film!

I'll be back to read again.

The Acorn King said...

If only you were driving the "Mutt Cuts" van from Dumb & Dumber. They would have been so jealous.